Enough is Enough!

I've stared at the blinking cursor trying to decide if I wanted to write about the tragedy that took place in Newtown, Connecticut yesterday. And I am left with emptiness. What can I say? I am devastated and heartbroken over the senseless loss of life that took place early yesterday. 20 children, most of them kindergarteners, lost their lives. and another handful of adults who were tasked with protecting them.

Not to mention the family of the gunman: His mother. His father. His brother.

And the gunman himself.

Yesterday, too many lives were lost. And thinking about the senseless act, it makes me heartsick.

So now, I write. And my readers (if there are even readers in the first place), will probably question what place this post has in a blog about prejudice and discrimination? And at first I didn't see a link, I was just compelled to write. To share my thoughts. And to think through my fingertips.

And then it came to me. This has everything to do with prejudice and discrimination. Prejudice and discrimination begin with the simple act of labeling. We all label things as we see them, it makes it easier for our pattern-oriented brains to understand the world around us. The problem is when we create labels and classify things but fail to see beyond the labels and classifications that we have applied.

In the next few days (and even right now, less than 24 hours since the shooting), we will hear people try to apply all sorts of labels to the gunman who stormed into Shady Brook Elementary School. People will label him as sick. People will label him as a psycho. People will label him as a murderer. People will label him as all sorts of things. In this post I have even contributed to this labeling problem by calling him the "gunman," instead of by using his name. And right now, while all of those labels appear to be true and appropriate, we cannot forget that they are labels that make it convenient to forget to be compassionate toward one another.

I am not suggesting that these labels aren't appropriate. And I am not saying that we are wrong in using them. I want to use all of those words, plus a bunch of foul four letter words that slither off my tongue and maybe even create some new combinations that might make my mother blush. This man committed an atrocious crime, doesn't he deserve all of the horrible names that people would sling toward his memory?

Part of me says yes. And another part of me says no. The emotional part of me screams YES! The rational, academic says hold on a sec...

The gunman, or rather, the "gunboy" (because he wasn't even old enough to legally drink yet and was in those awkward years between teenager and adult when you aren't quite a child and not quite a man), was more than just a combination of labels that describe the acts that he committed in New Jersey and Connecticut. And we would be doing ourselves a great disservice to forget that in our rush to blame and shame. I don't know all of the particulars, but I feel pretty safe in assuming that he was a loved baby, that as an teen someone truly loved him, and he was probably capable of tenderness and love in at least one area of his life. He had hobbies. He had passions. He probably had about a million friends on facebook, and a dozen friends he saw regularly. He was more than just a gunboy. He, too, was someone's child.

In the next few days people are going to come out of the woodwork claiming that he was mentally ill, or that he was psychotic, or a sociopath. And while these labels are all fine and dandy, what do they really accomplish? They don't undo the loss of life. They don't protect lives in the future. They don't keep this kind of crap from happening again in another sleepy, unsuspecting community. These labels serve to placate US. Those who sit on the sidelines with no real stake in the game. The families will be left to grieve and mourn on their own, while the labels only serve to comfort US.

If we don't get past these labels, we cannot get to the root of the problem. OK, so he might have been sick. Short of institutionalizing everyone who is mentally ill (which I would never advocate for as our history has already proven this to be quite problematic), what could we have done to prevent this from happening? This is not just the issue of one gunboy going into a school and killing a bunch of children. This has been an ongoing issue that has been increasing in frequency for decades. Something is wrong in our culture that is allowing it to happen. So what is wrong?

Some are going to say it is guns, actually a lot of people are going to say it is a gun problem. They'll say we need more. They'll say we need less. They'll say a million things. But again, that is the easy label. We look for blame. We want to make it easy to understand. Because if we focus on the guns themselves, we don't have to look in the mirror and consider how we contribute (either knowingly or unknowingly) to the problem ourselves.

Yesterday, we were all members of the Newtown community. Yesterday, we were all part of the problem. Today, lets all be part of the solution. We each have a responsibility. It is time to say enough lives have been lost. It is time to look in the mirror and ask the tough questions.

What can I do to help solve this problem?

Enough is enough.

Presentation at UMass-Boston October 2012

On October 19-20, 2012, I traveled to Boston MA to present at the UMass Conflict Studies Conference.

My presentation specifically discussed a phenomenological research project that I conducted which is titled "Understanding the Experiences of Female American Converts to Islam Post-September 11, 2001."

The purpose of this research was to describe and understand the experience of what it means to be a female American convert to Islam in Post-9/11 America. The American female convert to Islam was defined as a female living in the United States who practiced any religion other than Islam but who has converted to Islam. The term Post-9/11 America refers to not only the physical location of the United States, but also the cultural climate and attitudes that have taken hold since the September 11 terrorist attacks. Female American participants were over the age of 18, were born in the United States, practiced religions other than Islam prior to converting to Islam, and converted after September 11, 2001.

This will be the first time I have ever presented this type of research, and basically, the first time I have been able to gather constructive feedback and criticism of my work in a topic area which will soon become my dissertation.

My dear friend Kacey took video of my presentation which you can see here, and while the video ends shortly before the end of my presentation, and the sound is very low quality, I think it might be valuable to anyone interested in learning more about this topic.



If you watch this video, you will see that part of my research method required that I disclose a number of things about myself that could be indicative of bias, and one of those things I had to disclose was my research for the original Exploring Prejudice Project. While I am always ready, willing and able to discuss the project that led to my book, and everything that happened to me in that awesome journey, I have to admit that I was a little frustrated that the dialogue that began during the Q & A session appeared to be more focused on my own experiences doing the Exploring Prejudice Project, and less focused of the specific research that I was presenting.

Presenting was bittersweet. I was presenting something I worked hard on, and something that I believe in, yet something was off. I was forced into the spotlight, when really I should have been waiting in the wings.

The young women that I worked with for my research had incredible experiences and stories to tell. I told these stories and focused on them during my presentation, yet something was off. What could I have said or done differently? How could I have ensured that people focused on the stars in the show, not just the supporting actor? Yes, it was my paper, but I shouldn't have been the star. It wasn't my story, I was just the medium for relaying it.

I feel deep in my core that there is a value to bringing forth these stories, and worked hard to ensure that their voices were both being spoken in the narrative of the research, as well as being heard during the presentation... yet it didn't go as planned.

Certainly, I recognize that I have an interesting story to tell. But so do these women. And I want to help them in any way that I can. My story should never overshadow theirs. I wore a scarf to see what it felt like. These women chose a faith based on convictions, and they wore a scarf to represent those convictions. THEIR story trumps mine, any day.

It has been awhile...

Hi everyone,

I feel like such a slacker. So I created this website with the intent of keeping folks abreast of the important research I have been involved with in Conflict Analysis and Resolution, exploring various aspects of prejudice and discrimination on local, national and global scales.

But alas, as is often the case, life had other plans for me, and this blog has fallen to the wayside. I figured, if I pay for this website, I really should be using it to further my agenda. In doing this, I must get on the ball and talk about the things that are important... focusing on how we can create a new awareness and facilitate positive dialogue, transforming the dominant discourse into one that is accepting and inclusive.

I have a lot of really neat discussions to bring to the blogosphere, so please stay tuned. It is going to be a bumpy ride, I am sure, but lets hold on and travel together!

In the meantime, let me share some good news.

I have been accepted to present at the UMass Conflict Studies conference in Boston, MA on October 19-20, 2012. Over 150 graduate students from around the world submitted papers for presentation at this prestigious conference, and mine was chosen as one of 80 approved presentations. I will be participating in a panel titled "Women and Conflict" with students from St. John's University, Columbia, University of Denver, and University of San Diego.

In this presentation, I will be discussing a phenomenological research project that I conducted which is titled "Understanding the Experiences of Female American Converts to Islam Post-September 11, 2001." The purpose of this research was to describe and understand the experience of what it means to be a female American convert to Islam in Post-9/11 America. The American female convert to Islam was defined as a female living in the United States who practiced any religion other than Islam but who has converted to Islam. The term Post-9/11 America refers to not only the physical location of the United States, but also the cultural climate and attitudes that have taken hold since the September 11 terrorist attacks. Female American participants were over the age of 18, were born in the United States, practiced religions other than Islam prior to converting to Islam, and converted after September 11, 2001.

This will be the first time I have ever presented this type of research, and I am looking forward to this opportunity.